" Rather kick ass than solve stupid puzzle..." -Lo Wang, Shadow Warrior "A ship in port is safe; but that is not what ships are built for. Sail out to sea and do new things." -Grace Hopper "A true friend stabs you in the front." -Oscar Wilde "Ad nauseum" is practically my motto... -Sarah Davis "Aerodynamics is for people who don't know how to make engines." -Enzo Ferrari "Against boredom, even the gods themselves struggle in vain." -Neitzsche "All creature will die and all the things will be broken. That's the law of samurai." -Samurai Shodown II "An angry man is not a clever liar." -Simon Stevin (1548-1620) "Analytical writing is a blood-sport." -Don Wilkerson "Any problem you can't solve with 8 bullets, you probably can't solve at all." -http://www.marilith.com/archive.php?date=20060509 "As to conforming outwardly, and living your own life inwardly, I have not a very high opinion of that course." -Henry David Thoreau "At that time [1909] the chief engineer was almost always the chief test pilot as well. This had the fortunate result of eliminating poor engineering early in aviation." -Igor Sikorsky "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle." -Ian Maclaren "Bother", said Pooh, as he chambered another round... "But do not program in COBOL if you can avoid it." -The Tao of Programming "Although for some, the moving finger moves in a swift upward motion." -J Watt "Corporations are too stupid to be evil" -http://www.jwz.org/gruntle/aol.html "Cow have mercy. Roach have mercy. Cow have mercy." -cDc "XML is a giant step in no direction at all." -Erik Naggum "C++ is a language strongly optimized for liars and people who go by guesswork and ignorance." -Erik Naggum "Suppose we blasted all politicians into space. Would the SETI project find even one of them?" -Erik Naggum "Life is too long to be good at C++; if you had spent all that time to become good at it, you would essentially have to work with it, too, [...] and that would just be some long, drawn-out torture." -Erik Naggum "The secret to feeling great about yourself is not to be found in searching for people who are less than you and then showing yourself as superior to them, but in searching for people who are more than you and then showing yourself worthy of their company." -Erik Naggum "Death by *STEREO*!!" -The Lost Boys "Digital? Every idiot can count to 1." -https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bob_Widlar "Dijkstra probably hates me." -A comment in Linux's kernel/sched.c "Does narcissism count as a hobby?" -Shawn Latimer "Don't be too humble. You're not that great." -Golda Meir "Do not seek certainty; you will be disappointed. Seek clarity." -Julie Bergen "Emacs is a nice OS, but it lacks a good text editor. That's why I use vi." "Every time DRM prevents a legit playback, a pirate gets his wings." -N Bowers "Fiery the angels fell... Deep thunder rolled around their shores." -BladeRunner "Functionless art is merely tolerated vandalism. We are the vandals." -Type O "Everyone who wills can hear the inner voice. It is within everyone." -Gandhi "Freedom is not worth having if it does not connote freedom to err." -Gandhi "Even if you are a minority of one, the truth is the truth." -Gandhi "Fear has its use but cowardice has none." -Gandhi "Action expresses priorities." -Gandhi "Good men are unwilling to rule, either for money's sake or for honour [...] So they must be forced to rule under threat of penalty [...] The heaviest penalty for declining to rule is to be ruled by someone inferior to yourself." -Plato, The Republic (book 1, 347-C) aka "The libertarian's dilemma" "HELO. My $name is sendmail.cf. Prepare to vi." -Peter Guttman "Health food is anything you eat before the expiration date." -Willie B. "He seems happy, in his schizophrenic sort of way..." -marco "I'd rather know Lara Croft than Betty Crocker." -Douglas Copeland "I can't knock they hustle... but I *can* knock they teeth in!" -DemonDiceKaren "I do not trouble myself to be understood. I see that the elementary laws never apologize." -Walt Whitman "I don't drink Pepsi. I hate the way it represents the next generation of smiling people. Now Coke, it even sounds like a narcotic. Plus, it has fascist coloring scheme. You really have to bow to Coca-Cola." -Marilyn Manson "I don't know" is one of the smartest things you can say. -pittsburgh924@reddit "I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it!" "I don't think so", said Rene Descartes. And then he vanished. "I don't want the world... I just want your half." -They Might Be Giants "I'm fairly confident my last mortal words will be, "Oh shit!"" -rec.motorcycle "Call on God, but row away from the rocks." -Hunter S. Thompson "I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." -Hunter S. Thompson "I'm not senile, I'm a fanboy." -http://www.goats.com "I hate jobs where you have to wear pants." -Mark M "I laugh because the world makes me hurt real bad inside." -jwz "I prefer my coffee without sarcasm." -Rally Vincent "I think you have enough angst without wrapping yourself in videotape." -Mark M "I took an IQ test once." "Yeah?" "The results came back negative." "I won't stop torturing myself until I find the source of all my pain!" -MG "I would not have been successful had I tried to become rich." -Linus Torvalds "ISDN is almost like actually being connected to the net." -Paul Newhouse "If I had a penny for my thoughts I'd be a millionaire." -Mike D "If it doesn't make it faster, I don't care." -yellowzxtt "Imagine a world without hypothetical situations." "Information wants to be $5.99 plus tax." "It is no measure of health to be well-adjusted to a profoundly sick society." -Jiddu Krishnamurti "It's not clear that intelligence has any long-term survival value." -S Hawking "It's a curious thing about our industry: not only do we not learn from our mistakes, we also don't learn from our successes." -Keith Braithwaite, on software "Keep the shiny side up." -The motorcycler's humorous motto "Konya wa Hurricane." -Priss and the Replicants "Let's stop praying for someone to save us and start saving ourselves." -KMFDM "Life isn't fair, but the root password helps." -The BOFH "Look at how big my Linux partition is. *boing*" -Tommy "Make it work. Make it right. Make it fast." - Kent Beck, on coding priorities "Making these films is a lot cheaper than therapy." -Kevin Smith "If you want to find out what a man is to the bottom, give him power. Any man can stand adversity — only a great man can stand prosperity." -Robert G. Ingersoll "No trees were killed to send this message, but a large number of electrons were terribly inconvenienced." -Neil deGrasse Tyson "No," she said, "but sometimes I like to watch." -Gibson's "The Winter Market" "Of COURSE I'm on topic. (Which group is this again?)" -Scott Hagie "On a scale of 1-10, I am soooo drunk!" -http://www.penny-arcade.com "One foot on the pedal, one foot in the grave..." -Tom Petty "Only enemies speak the truth. Friends and lovers lie endlessly, caught in the web of duty." -Stephen King "Our users will know fear and cower before our software! Ship it! Ship it and let them flee like the dogs they are!" -Klingon Software Developer "Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away." Antoine de Saint-Exupery "Power Corrupts. Absolute power is kinda neat." -John Lehman "Sapere aude." ("Dare to think for yourself.") -Immanuel Kant "Send lawyers, guns and money." -Warren Zevon "She got the whole wide world singin' baby's song..." -Fluke "Smells like fan-spirit!" -Roger Morse "So make a move and plead the 5th, 'cause ya can't plead the 1st!" -RAtM "So that's 2 T-1s and a newsfeed....would you like clues with that?" -Hillary "Strange and ironic that it will end the same way..." -Dante, Devil May Cry "Strange things are afoot at the Circle-K." -Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure "Take him to... DETROIT!" "No! Not DETROIT! No! NO!!!" -Kentucky Fried Movie "Testing leads to failure, and failure leads to understanding." -Burt Rutan "The by-design purpose of JavaScript was to make the monkey dance when you moused over it." -Eric Lippert, http://programmers.stackexchange.com/a/221658 "The first principle is that you must not fool yourself - and you are the easiest person [for yourself] to fool". -Feynman "Undeniably, I am in decline." -Vash, BGC Grand Mal "The guitar is an instrument of the Middle Ages." -Ralf Hutter of Kraftwerk "The market can remain irrational longer than you can remain solvent." -Keynes "The nice thing about standards is that you have so many to choose from." -Andrew Tanenbaum "The optimum programming team size is 1." -John Larkin "The past is a fun place to visit, but you can't live there." -Ben Cantrick "The uglier the truth, the truer the friend who tells you." -RobinRook "There's what's legal; there's what's right; then there's what we do..." -Enrique Conty "There is a very fine line between 'hobby' and 'mental illness'." -Dave Barry "They can have my SSH when they pry my keyboard from my cold, dead hands." -daud "The light at the end of the tunnel is muzzle flash." - Mike Andrews "Those who do not understand UNIX are condemned to reinvent it. Poorly." -H Spencer "VMS is a text-only adventure game. If you win you get to use unix." -anon "We didn't know anything was wrong until the ducks burst into flame." -jhunt1@icx.net "We prefer to be called "Buccaner-Americans"." -http://www.dieselsweeties.com "Winners don't punish." -http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_G._Rand "Who died and made you root?" -Justin Moe "Would you like to touch my monkey?" -Deiter "You are the perfect drug, the perfect drug, the perfect drug..." -NIN "You don't seem to understand how a debugger works." - Ian S. Nelson, to me "You guys are as obvious as a weasel on acid." -Joe Provo "You, sir, are an ignorant asshole!" -Robert Woodhead, to me "You're kidding, right?" "I never kid about pocky..." "You're disgustingly idealistic, Ben." -Scot "You're not wrong Walter, you're just an asshole!" -The Big Lebowski "You've got to stop trying to understand and just start looking for patterns." -Scott Edlin "Wake UP, you twit, I need to know the fate of my BAGELS!" -RobinRook "We don't need the gatekeepers any more." -Courtney Love, on internet music "What do you mean, "caffeine isn't a vitamin"?" -Ben Ostrowsky "What are we doing tonite, Kubo?" "The same thing we do EVERY night, Tanaka..." Q: "Why is KMFDM so anti-MTV?" A: "MTV is an insult to the world" -KMFDM Why robotics? My parents were always telling me to make new friends. -A Vaughan "When you believe in things that you don't understand, then you suffer." -Stevie Wonder "A desire not to butt into other people's business is eighty percent of all human wisdom." -Heinlein "Being right too soon is socially unacceptable." -Heinlein "One man's theology is another man's belly laugh." -Heinlein One man's "magic" is another man's "engineering." "Supernatural" is a null word. -Heinlein "The human race divides politically into those who want people to be controlled, and those who have no such desire." -Heinlein "Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea." -Heinlein "There is no cause so right that one cannot find a fool following it." -Niven "Every actual State is corrupt. Good men must not obey laws too well." -Ralph Waldo Emerson "Every mind must make its choice between truth and repose. It cannot have both." -Ralph Waldo Emerson "To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment." -Ralph Waldo Emerson "The virtue in most request [in society] is conformity. Self-reliance is its aversion." -Ralph Waldo Emerson ... bleakness ... desolation ... plastic forks ... Advanced Supersonic Titanium Nazi Hell Creatures from beneath the hollow earth! All the world's a stage. And most of us are desperately unrehearsed... Am I ranting? I hope so. My ranting gets raves. Boulder, Colorado: Drugs would be cheaper. Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from a rigged demo. Apathy will be the downfall of humanity. (Not that I care...) Better living through denial. Computers are useless - they can only give you answers. Courage is not an absence of fear. Courage is facing fear, despite being afraid. Death to all fanatics!!! (Uh... wait a minute here...) Do you ever wonder if the inmates are running the asylum? Don't look back - the other lemmings are gaining on you! Down, not across... E Pluribus Unix Email spam sucks. Do something about it. http://www.cauce.org Everything I know about car tuning I learned from Gran Turismo. Federal law forbids using this post in a matter inconsistent with its labelling. FNORD-FNORD-FNORD-FNORD-FNORD-FNORD-FNORD-FNORD-FNORD-FNORD-FNORD-FNORD-FNORD Forget about World Peace - try visualizing using your turn signal. Good leaders being scarce, following yourself is allowed. Harvest THIS! president@whitehouse.gov postmaster@localhost root@ispam.net Heaven doesn't want me. Hell's afraid that I'd take over. http://samba.anu.edu.au/dumb/index.html http://www.chenessinc.com/ http://www.mrcranky.com http://www.trevorstone.org/trisection.html http://www.404notfound.net/something.htm http://soyokaze.biosci.ohio-state.edu/~gavigan/magnum.html http://www.tuccille.com/scribble/fullauto.htm http://www.tuccille.com/scribble/fullauto/auto5.htm http://www.cultdeadcow.com/cDc_files/cDc-0304.txt http://www.cultdeadcow.com/cDc_files/cDc-0329.txt http://www.jwz.org/gruntle/ http://www.infidels.org/library/modern/mathew/intro.html http://www.ranum.com/security/computer_security/papers/a1-firewall/ http://www.straightdope.com http://www.viewaskew.com http://www.catb.org/jargon/html/appendixb.html I know it's a dead horse, but it makes a neat sound when I kick it. If you can't improvise, then you'll just have to figure out some other way. If your knee jerks any harder you're going to kick yourself in the head. Illegitimi non carborundum. ("Don't let the bastards grind you down.") It is illegal to put squirrels down your pants for the purposes of gambling. It looks like blind, screaming hedonism won out. Klein bottle for sale - inquire within. Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change! Mobius strip for sale, see other side. Just say NO! ... To Micro$osft operating systems. ;] Nine Inch Nails - Queensryche - Lords of Acid - Priss and the Replicants Fluke - KMFDM - Kraftwerk - Ween - MegaDeth Okay, who stopped payment on my reality check? Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most. Remember, placebo effect is better than no effect at all! I tried to teach autodidactism, but realized people just have to DIY. Quidquid latine dictum sit, altum viditur. (That said in latin sounds profound) Save the hermetic seals. Space is an illusion. Disk space, doubly so. Spam sucks. Do something about it. http://spam.abuse.net The box said "Windows 95, NT 4.0, or better". So I installed Linux. The truth hurts for a moment. A lie hurts for a long time. -Dean's Rule #45 This post sponsored by the Stacked Chicks In Body Armor foundation. And, otaku like you. "We expect others to act rationally even though we are irrational." -Scott Adams When it comes to dating: "Sexy, Smart, Sane. Pick any Two." Will the rhetorical questions never end?? Why yes, I am an agent of Satan. However, my duties are largely ceremonial... What I want is all of the power and none of the responsibility. Why Linux? Because it is "The choice of a GNU generation." Don't bother me. I'm living happily ever after. Do I look like a freakin' people person?? Therapy is expensive. Poppin' bubble wrap is cheap. Your choice! I'm not crazy, I've just been in a very bad mood for 30 years. A Discovery channel mind in an MTV world. Sarcasm is only one of the services I offer. I'm just working here till a good fast-food job opens up. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong? Macho Law forbids me from admitting I'm wrong. So many freaks, so few circuses... Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done. Am I ambivalent? Well, yes and no... I plead contemporary insanity. I refuse to star in your psychodrama. Buzz off. I'd really like a New World Order, but I can only afford a used one... USENET? Been there, done that, wrote the FAQ. The computer revolution is over. The computers won. Five days a week, my body is a temple. The other two, an amusement park... I am so tired of cutting the throats of people who call me a violent psychopath! | <- You (no longer) must be smarter than this stick to ride the Internets. It is often easier to fight for one's principles than to live up to them. It's all fun and games until a rampaging giant robot destroys your geofront. Laugh at your problems - everyone else does. Sanity is the sign of a weak mind. Life is not a zero-sum game. Conformity is not a virtue. "Computers are NOT black magic. Tens of thousands of man-years worth of engineering effort have gone into guaranteeing with absolute certainty that if any-body, any-where, any-when asks your computer's hardware what 2+2 equals, the computer will answer "4", NO MATTER WHAT. This sheer, unbreakable, absolute guarantee of consistent repeatablility is the foundation upon which all software is built. Ergo, if the software that you create behaves inconsistently, or erratically, or requires arcane, uninteligible, incomprehensible, magical incantations merely to *start up* (much less run correctly)... then the fault is not the computer's, it is YOURS. If your software behaves like magic, then it is YOU who have failed - utterly - as a Software Engineer." -Ben Cantrick, on JavaEE aka "the new COBOL"